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- The Onion
Obama Urges Citizens To Hide Evidence Of Our Formerly Prosperous Lives From Nation's Young Children
Sat, Feb 18, 2012 17:01 GMT
The Onion 2:44 | 591 views
Movie fans demand to see new Heath Ledger performance in 'Dark Knight Rises,' a truly authentic Mexican restaurant is shut down immediately, and another dead body is tossed on a heap somewhere. It's the week of February 13, 2012.
Behind The Pen: How Marriage Works
Mon, May 14, 2012 18:01 BST
The Onion 2:54 | 51 views
Onion editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly is one of the world's top opinion-makers. He gets up close and personal in this new video series.
Santorum Now Viciously Condemning Homosexuals, Minorities, Women For $100,000 Speaking Fee
Sat, May 12, 2012 18:00 BST
The Onion 2:36 | 49 views
A 5-year-old announces that the circle is no longer her favorite shape, former Kentucky Derby winner Big Brown makes his comeback to horse racing as a jockey, and the guitar music fad runs its course. It's the week of May 7th, 2012.
In Bipartisan Spirit, Obama Makes Deal To Get Kicked In Balls
Tue, May 8, 2012 18:01 BST
The Onion 2:31 | 90 views
President Obama works out an agreement to have Republicans in Congress kick him in the balls in exchange for nothing. (Aired 10/25/11)
This Week In History: World's First Lesbian Discovered In Guatemalan Jungle (1957)
Tue, May 8, 2012 18:00 BST
The Onion 2:57 | 76 views
The Onion reflects on the discovery of the first lesbian, the joyous Hindenburg explosion, and the Sears Tower's challenge to God
Prince William, Kate Middleton Celebrate One-Year Anniversary By Forcing Humiliated Servants To Disrobe, Kiss Each Other
Sat, May 5, 2012 18:00 BST
The Onion 2:34 | 235 views
An anxiety-ridden man is rightly ashamed of every single thing that he does, half a sleeve of Oreos is lost in a house fire, and a local man has had more than enough beach. It's the week of April 30th, 2012.
Medium Channels The Spirits Of Old Acquaintances For Awkward Small Talk
Thu, May 3, 2012 18:00 BST
The Onion 3:06 | 178 views
Psychic Kenneth Quinn connects Today Now! studio guests with former landlords and friends of work friends who have died for stilted conversations from beyond.
Biden Unveils New Health Initiative To Make U.S. Women Hotter
Tue, May 1, 2012 18:01 BST
The Onion 1:09 | 278 views
Inspired by the First Lady's health plan for children, Vice President Joe Biden has pledged to make every American woman beach-ready. (Aired 10/18/11)
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