Onion News Network:

Videos in this Playlist

1. 1

   

   Internet Archaeologists Find Ruins Of 'Friendster' Civilization

   from The Onion

   2:32 | 6,605 views

   Researchers conducting the Friendster excavation say the site has been deserted since the year 2005 A.D.

2. 2

   

   Adults Go Wild Over Latest In Childrens Picture Book Series

   from The Onion

   2:23 | 27,850 views

   Adult readers say they are drawn to the 'Green Man' children's book series by the complexity of its characters ranging from yellow to blue.

3. 3

   

   DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico

   from The Onion

   1:53 | 5,358 views

   The DEA says Lil Wayne is an indispensable weapon against Mexican drug cartels having eradicated 40 tons of marijuana alone by smoking it himself.

4. 4

   

   Report: Most College Males Admit To Regularly Getting Stoked

   from The Onion

   2:45 | 26,038 views

   Panelists discuss whether there is an epidemic among young people today who get stoked over everything from free keychains to tacos.

5. 5

   

   Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.

   from The Onion

   3:14 | 16,602 views

   11 year old Thomas Demming visits Today NOW! with the magical friend he hid for weeks in his bedroom closet.

6. 6

   

   Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner

   from The Onion

   2:39 | 16,820 views

   Officials say the President's home teleprompter is simply a tool to make sure pillow talk with Michelle or conversations with his Mother-In-Law go smoothly.

7. 7

   

   Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus

   from The Onion

   1:47 | 17,956 views

   Ford says the '93 Taurus is the only car to drive in 2010, and they think Americans will have no other choice but to agree.

8. 8

   

   Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

   from The Onion

   1:51 | 8,480 views

   An honors student died in the crash today, leaving the nation to wonder why the grisly experience of burning alive was not reserved for Glenn Beck.

9. 9

   

   Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End To Clippers Game

   from The Onion

   2:20 | 16,777 views

   People are breathing a sigh of relief today for the long-suffering spectators' sudden deaths, and for the total elimination of the Clippers' roster off the face of the earth.

10. 10

    

    How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For Your Effeminate Son

    from The Onion

    2:52 | 26,063 views

    Expert stops by Today NOW! to show parents of girly sons costume tips to survive Halloween without accentuating their child's obvious homosexuality.